The Dream

To experience death without the climax of actual death leaves a bitter sweet taste in your mouth.
The story below is a dream that I experienced that left that bitter sweet taste in my mouth when I woke. It started as I floated away into peaceful sleep on a cool autumn night. At what point it went from the reality of my safe bedroom to a dream I am not sure.
I lay in my room aware of only the silence and the blue moon light illuminating the room through the window. There is a normal sense of silence and safety that fills the space within the room when I hear a click. Why was there a click I ask myself? Something familiar, something I had heard before. Then again…click. But this time there is no mystery in what I hear, I know exactly what I hear. The latches that secure my bedroom window closed. I try to sit up to see what is happening but I can not move. I'm paralyzed.
My eyes move frantically around the room until I see a shadow entering through the window. That's all I can see is a shadow. The shadow of a man with broad square shoulders and a hood darkening his face. There is no hesitation in his step as he approaches my bed.
He stops just to the side of and stares down at my paralyzed body lying helplessly beneath him. At that point he reaches into his pocket and very slowly pulls out a knife. I knew it was a knife because I could see the soft blue light reflect off the blade. And at that very moment that soft blue light changed from blue to a fierce red.
With a smooth confident movement he moves the knife within his shadow. I see his arm raise and then feel the knife enter my body. Suddenly and explosion of fear, pain and confusion enter my mind and body. As he repeats the motion of sliding the knife into me, sometimes fast and sometimes slow I realize that I can feel death. I can feel myself dying. I could feel myself detaching from my body and floating. Floating within my own dying self.
And this is the last thing that I feel before I am jarred awake…death.

The streak across my heart

Rain falls down and makes streaks across my bedroom window.
I look through the glass and ponder the mystery which you have become.
You were my sunshine within the storm of our lives and now youre just a streak across my heart.
When I look into your eyes I think I capture what I once knew, but I know it is no longer there.
My sorrow weighs me down.
Like the dampness for the cold rain soaked into my clothing.
Wet cold and tired I realize.
Ill never have my girl again.

The Meadow

The early morning sun begins to break through the leaves that line the golden meadow in which I stand.
I feel the warmth of the morning sun on my face as the forest around me begins to come to life.
I look down to see the tall grass rustling about my legs, as a breeze carries the scent of the morning dew across the meadow.
The cool air brushes against my skin, raising the slightest goose bumps across my entire body.
As I breathe in the crisp morning air my eyes become heavy and begin to close.
An emotion like nothing I have felt before comes over me.
What comes over me I can not described with mere words.
For I beilieve my soul has just been touched by an angel.
And how does one describe the touch of something that comes from the hand of god.
I soon notice that I am kneeling amongst tall golden grass weeping into the palms of my hands.
But be sure, I weep not from sadness, but from a joy that has never penetrated so deeply into my body.
For all the darkness that has shrouded my soul, and slowly destroyed all the happiness of my life is beginning to fade into nothing more than a rustle blowing through the golden meadow grass.
Kneeling there within god's great creation I begin to feel whole inside.
My broken mind being mended by a miracle I cannot explain, nor deny.
It is the first time in my memory I don't feel the sadness and pain that has followed me through out life.
The fleeting touch of an angel has given me the beginning of a life I only dreamt about.
I finally feel the peace within me that I never thought would come.
Still kneeling amongst the grass I wipe the tears from below my eyes and give my thanks.
I thank the angel that touched my soul and saved my life.
And I thank the god that gave me a second chance to live.

Change

Standing here beneath the open cloud covered sky.

Rain begins to fall lightly upon the back of my neck and shoulders.

My life has taken turns that would break weaker men.

But these challenges only make me stronger.

The rain begins to pick up, and the paper I write on begins to get moist.

With the rain falling all around me, I continue standing and begin to stare into the rainy night sky.

I am finally beginning to understand who I am.

I'm the one who can change the world. If not for the entire world, at least for everyone whose life I touch.

Changing the world is not something I do because I am chosen, but because I have a choice to do so myself.

I am the one in control of my destiny.

Rescue from the storm

A storm blows hard through the darkness of my jumbled mind.
Thunder rumbles through my soul, making an end to the storm seem so distant.
As I am at my weakest I feel a hand penetrates the darkness and begin to lead me through the storm.
There is fear inside of me at the feeling of this unknown presence upon me.
I close my eyes and realize that I must have faith.
I must have faith that this hand will take me to the calm outside the storm.
As I exit the storm I turn to see my savior and see only the darkness of the storm from which I was rescued.
Now all I have is faith. For the hand upon me cannot be felt.
But I realize that just because the hand can not be felt. That does not mean the savior is not there.